Jeff Foxworthy says that he can only joke about rednecks because he is a redneck and loves rednecks. I feel the same way about Christians. As a follower of Jesus, I love my fellow Christians, but sometimes they do stuff that just seems annoying to me, so out of love and honesty, I've posted a Top Ten list of some of my biggest pet peeves in all the Christian world.
10. Christians who pray loudly before their meal and then treat their waitress rudely and leave a cheap tip. If you can't afford to tip well, then you can't afford to eat out. If you can't treat your server with respect, you probably shouldn't leave your house much. You're the reason why servers hate working the Sunday lunch shift.
9. Christians who have poor personal hygiene. Just because you're "washed in the blood" it doesn't mean you get a pass on bathing daily.
8. Christians who say that Jesus' first miracle was turning water into grape juice. Saying that Jesus made "great wine" at a Jewish wedding with no alcohol would be like saying he made "great tea" at a South Carolina wedding with no sugar.
7. Christians who say they care deeply for "lost people" but they don't have one meaningful relationship with anybody outside the church.
6. Christians who make their political affiliation more sacred than their affiliation to Jesus.
5. Christians who like cats and/or dislike dogs. God made some animals superior to others.
4. Christians who use words like "fornication" in regular sentences. Just say sex, weirdo.
3. Christians who fall asleep during the service but then tell the pastor the sermon was good afterwards. I can see you from the stage and I know who you are.
2. Christians who refer to each other as Brother so and so or Sister so and so. I guess it's sweet and respectful on some level, but overall, it makes me feel like I'm in cult, so I'd much prefer to just be called Dave.
1. Hypocrites. This one annoys me the most because I fall into this category most days which makes me as annoying as anybody. Luckily, we serve a grace-filled and loving God.
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5 comments:
Thanks. . . I would agree on every account! I especially love your analogy between the wine without alcohol and the tea without sugar! You always bring a new way of considering things! Golly, if you and Joshua were on a ministry team together. . .wow! Right on, Dave!
Oh my gosh, I am laughing so much at this "top ten list"! So "Brother Dave"....you can really see me from the stage?! :)
Hilarious. Love it "brother"! I say that in the Hulk Hogan kind of way...not the Christian kind of way.
Brother Dave,
In my defense I just want to say a few things. First,I wasnt that loud. She yelled at me first. It was one time that I forgot to shower, so get over it. Everyone knows that Jesus 1st miracle was not "grape juice", but when he saved Abraham from the Ark. Obviously cats are superior, because they are controled by no one.We use the word "fornication" because Jesus preached from the KJV. Sorry about falling alseep, but there are only so many "word pictures" that I can take. I hope this clears things up for you.
Sister
Laura
Dave, fantastic post overall. I have to disagree with the one about calling each other brothers and sisters...with a caveat. Having been to several AME churches throughout the years I can't tell you how good it makes me feel to be called brother... If nothing else it makes me feel like I'm one of the "Brothas" and not so white...errr...pink.
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